Making Long-Distance Parenting Plans Work
Co-parenting across state lines or even across counties comes with challenges. But it’s possible to create a plan that supports your child, reduces conflict, and helps both parents feel confident in how time is shared. I recently read an excellent blog from Anna M. Vujovic, a family law attorney at Navigate Law Group, that outlines practical tips for structuring long-distance parenting plans. You can read it here.
Here’s my take on what works best when distance becomes a factor in your parenting plan.
Structure and Specificity are Everything
Long-distance parenting plans must be extremely clear. That doesn’t mean they have to be rigid, but they do need to set expectations so everyone, especially your child knows what to count on. This means laying out:
Who is responsible for travel and how it happens
How and when the child will communicate with the other parent
What holidays, vacations, and breaks look like
What happens if plans need to change
When these decisions are made upfront, you reduce friction down the road and give your child the gift of predictability and peace of mind.
Don’t Skip the Travel Details
This is the one that often trips people up. If a child is flying solo to visit a parent, who books the flight? Who pays for it? Is there an adult accompanying them? What happens if a flight is delayed or missed?
These are not details to “work out later.” Address them directly in the plan. If you live far enough apart that travel requires coordination, it’s worth writing in alternate plans, shared costs, and backup arrangements. The fewer surprises you leave for later, the smoother things will go.
Communication Schedules Help Everyone
Video calls and phone check-ins can keep your child feeling emotionally close, even when they’re physically apart from one parent. But even communication needs structure. If you want the plan to work for the long haul, it’s important to define:
How often will the child connect with the parent they’re not with
What methods will they use (FaceTime, Zoom, phone, etc.)
When these calls happen, and how long will they last
When both homes understand the expectations, it helps avoid confusion or overstepping and it gives your child healthy boundaries and consistency.
Getting Ahead of Holiday Stress
Holidays are already emotional. Long-distance plans without clarity around holidays are a recipe for conflict. In my work with families, I’ve seen the most success when:
Major holidays alternate year to year or are split clearly
Summer vacation is laid out by specific dates, not vague timeframes
Both parents have time that allows them to create meaningful traditions
A detailed schedule creates peace in advance, not just for the parents, but for the child who’s already going through enough transition.
Flexibility Matters—but Needs a Framework
The best parenting plans balance structure with flexibility. It’s smart to include language that allows parents to agree to changes in writing if needed but it’s just as important to establish what happens if you don’t agree.
If one parent needs to shift a visit or adjust travel, what’s the process? Is there a window of notice required? What if a child becomes sick, or if weather makes travel impossible?
Building contingency plans and conflict-resolution steps can help avoid unnecessary court filings or misunderstandings.
Theresa’s Bottom Line
A long-distance parenting plan isn’t just about logistics it’s about protecting your child’s relationship with both parents. It should also reduce the emotional wear and tear on everyone involved.
The blog from Navigate Law Group does a great job outlining what to think about, and I agree with their core message: the more detailed the plan, the more successful the co-parenting relationship will be.
As a divorce mortgage planning expert, I often work with families making these kinds of long-distance transitions. Whether one parent is relocating for work, starting over in a new city, or returning to a hometown after divorce, I’ve seen how a solid plan can make all the difference—not just in legal compliance, but in emotional stability and family connection.
If you’re working through a parenting plan and distance is a factor, don’t try to wing it. Partner with an experienced attorney or mediator, and make sure the financial and housing pieces of the puzzle align with the parenting agreement. If you need help sorting that part out, I’m here to support you.
Theresa Springer is a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®) and divorce mortgage planning expert based in the Pacific Northwest. She collaborates with attorneys, mediators, and families to help divorcing clients make informed decisions about homeownership, housing transitions, and mortgage financing during and after divorce.