Why a Divorce Exit Strategy Isn’t Optional—It’s Essential
Inspired by Heather’s blog, “Why You Need an Exit Strategy Before You Say Divorce”
When someone calls me to talk about a mortgage during or after divorce, I can usually tell within minutes whether they had a plan—or whether they just pulled the ripcord without one.
Heather’s latest blog, [“Why You Need an Exit Strategy Before You Say Divorce,”] lays out exactly why the planning piece matters so much. It’s one of the best overviews I’ve read on how to avoid turning an already emotional decision into a logistical and financial disaster.
Her comparison to remodeling a kitchen is spot-on: you wouldn’t start ripping out cabinets without a plan, a budget, and a team of professionals to guide you. Divorce is no different—except it involves your home, your kids, your finances, your legal standing, and your mental health. Why wouldn’t you want a roadmap?
What Is a Divorce Exit Strategy?
Heather defines a divorce exit strategy as the proactive steps you take before you say “I want a divorce.” It includes:
Physical, emotional, financial, and digital safety planning
Understanding divorce options and processes
Clarifying your top fears and priorities
Crafting a communication plan for delivering the news
Lining up income, housing, and a support system
I love how she frames this: the more thought you put in ahead of time, the fewer explosions you have to clean up afterward.
Fear and Finances: Why People Stay Stuck
In my work as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®), I’ve seen time and again that fear—especially financial fear—is one of the biggest reasons people delay leaving a marriage that no longer works.
What if I can’t afford to stay in the house?
Will I even qualify for a mortgage on my own?
What if I move out and lose access to money or important documents?
How do I protect my credit?
These are real concerns. But the key is turning fear into a problem to solve. And that’s where an exit strategy makes all the difference. With the right professionals—divorce coaches, mediators, financial neutrals, and yes, a mortgage expert—you can turn those fears into manageable decisions.
Control the Chaos Before It Starts
Heather is also clear about the cost of diving in unprepared. The biggest drivers of expensive, high-conflict divorce? Fear and poor communication.
With a well-thought-out plan:
You avoid triggering panic in your spouse with an emotional, unplanned announcement.
You reduce the chances of losing access to financial or legal documents.
You protect your kids by showing up steady and focused, not reactionary.
You reduce the likelihood of paying your attorney to untangle emergencies that could have been avoided.
And when it comes to your mortgage and housing plans, you’re ahead of the curve instead of scrambling to qualify or refinance under pressure.
Theresa’s Takeaway
Whether you're the one considering leaving or just starting to realize that the financial pieces don’t add up, please take this to heart: you need a divorce plan. Not just for the legal side of things, but for the practical, day-to-day decisions that will affect your future stability and well-being.
Here’s how I can help:
Evaluate your current mortgage and determine whether it’s assumable, refinanceable, or needs to be sold and can you qualify for any of these.
Run real numbers on what you can afford post-divorce
Coordinate with your divorce team to ensure the financial terms in your settlement actually work with mortgage guidelines
Support both parties, if needed, through mediation-friendly financial analysis
So before you make a move, take a breath—and make a plan. Read Heather’s full blog for a breakdown of what that looks like. And when you're ready to talk about the home side of the equation, reach out.
You don’t have to figure this out alone—and you shouldn’t.